I was out shopping with my girlfriend.
Simple moment.
Low stakes.
But it revealed a dynamic I see in my clients every week.
She was excited, holding up options.
“This one would look great on you.”
“Try this colour.”
“What about this?”
And instead of receiving it,
I shut down.
My chest tightened.
My patience dropped.
I felt defensive without a clear reason.
Not because of her.
But because my system still treats support as a threat.
This is what I teach men all the time.
If you cannot receive love, you cannot lead the relationship.
Your partner will feel it before you do.
She was trying to connect.
I was signalling distance.
There was no explosion or dramatic moment.
Just a quiet fracture in connection.
We left the store and I knew I had pushed her away.
Not deliberately.
Not maliciously.
Just unconsciously.
Later, when I sat with it, the truth became clear.
This had nothing to do with the shirt.
It had everything to do with an old identity.
An identity that believes letting someone in means losing control.
That identity is outdated.
But it still shows up when I am not paying attention.
Here is the real lesson.
I share this because learning how to receive love is not a lesson you master once.
Most people think they have communication issues.
In reality, they have receiving issues.
They know how to give, fix, support and solve.
They do not know how to soften, allow or be influenced.
That day did not give me a breakthrough.
It gave me clarity.
And clarity is where transformation begins.
If this is a pattern you want to work through, book a call with me here:
